Cream of Consciousness

In celebration of the release of the 6th film, recalculate your Star Wars name and check out the Star Wars pick-up line generator and the Yoda sex line generator.

Yours in the force,

Allfl Trbal, Lfmazda of Naproxen

From the totally useless websites file...

With which celebrity are you most compatible? This site supposedly uses biorhythms (based on your birthdate) to match you with celebrities based on dimensions of physical, emotional and intellectual compatibility. You can also search for a specific celebrity and determine your compatibility with them.

You may have to use Google Images to find out who some of these people are.

There has been a glut of crappy Star Wars merchandise released in conjunction with each of the last 3 films. Some of it still shows up in the clearance aisles of K-mart or in lot stores like Big Lots and Amazing Savings. As recently as March I saw some Darth Maul figurine at the Big Lots in Pleasantville, NJ. The most ridiculous item was this JarJar Binks lollipop thingy that consisted of a plastic head on a stick with a button mechanism that opened the mouth and extended a candy tongue (google "JarJar", "candy" and "tongue" to see it- I promise you won't land on some weird Star Wars fetish porn site). It goes way beyond the standard action figures and vehicles that many of us have tucked away in our basement. Most of it is crap, but a few choice items are downright cool, including: the lightsaber spoon.

Available in many Kellogg cereals, it is a clear plastic spoon (removable for washing) that connects to a battery powered lightsaber base. It is available in red, green or blue. I pulled a red one out of my Frosted Flakes this morning. My daughter promptly and corrected stated, "Wow, you got the Darth Vader one Daddy!"

If you have medical insurance through Horizon, Aetna or Amerihealth chances are that responsibility for your mental health coverage has been carved out (contracted) to a company called Magellan. Like any managed healthcare organization, they have a set network of providers. Being treated by a professional outside of this network incurs significantly greater costs. Well for Cumberland County there is exactly one (1) in-network psychiatrist, and he has a 3 month waiting list. If you call Magellan and ask for a list of providers they will give you several names. but their provider network database is woefully out of date. It includes providers who are not taking new patients, providers who are no longer in private practice and even one doctor who's dead (that's right DEAD). If you have no provider locally, they will insist that you drive up to 45 minutes to an in-network provider. Getting authorization to see an out-of-network doctor at in-network rates requires patience, determination and stamina that most depressed folks don't have. Now Cumberland County is rural, but there are 3 good sized municipalities in the area (Vineland, Bridgeton and Millville) and a sizable population in need of a psychiatrist.

Why are there so few providers? The process of joining the provider network is an ordeal of hoop jumping and delays and many decide it's not worth the effort due to the reimbursement rates that Magellan is offering. The number of providers in more populous area is greater, but it is still inadequate to meet the needs of the population. Therapists (the gross majority not being medical doctors) are frequently in the position of knowing their clients are in need of medication, but being unable to refer them to a psychiatrist in a reasonable time frame.

Ok, I'm finally getting around to posting on this thing. God only knows how regularly I'll post, but here goes:

So we (me+wife+daughter) are driving up the New Jersey Turnpike to a birthday party last Saturday, and I'm seeing the signs for the rest areas, and I'm thinking, "Man, these oases (plural of oasis-didn't know 'til I looked up here) of convenience are the only places you can find a Roy Rogers, Popeye's Chicken or Bob's Big Boy restaurant anymore." I mourn the disappearance of each from the suburban landscape.

Roy Rogers served good burgers and that thinly sliced roast beef, but what kept me a regular customer was the Fixin's Bar. I would load up a sandwich with about 2 pounds of onions, pickles and BBQ sauce and eat the droppings off of the foil wrapper.

Popeye's served the best fast food fried chicken and a host of other deep fried items. Their spicy chicken was gooooood (Sho-nuff).

Big Boy's? 3 words: cheap breakfast buffet. 2 more words: hangover remedy.

Now I guess I could still eat at these places if I was willing to go to one of the Turnpike/Parkway rest areas, but my values forbid me to do so. I refuse to pay the inflated prices for everything from bottled water to No-Doz. Burgers, gasoline, frozen yogurt, sunglasses, generic tee-shirts with the the name of the state or local tourist trap, all annoyingly more than you will pay elsewhere.

Now I know what some people will say, (affected voice) "Your are paying for the convenience of not having to get off the highway, particularly in an unfamiliar area." Come on people! Convenience is cooking dinner in half the time, or cutting a half-hour off your commute, or paying all your bills with a few clicks of the mouse, or uploading 200 vacation pictures to Sam's Club, not saving the 2.5 minutes it takes to get off the highway and get back on again.

And it's not like you exiting the interstate and landing in the middle of Deliverance. Even the most remote areas generally have a few signs of civilization just off the highway. In fact there seems to be some law in all states south of Maryland that requires that a Cracker Barrel be constructed within 500 yards of every interstate exit. If you don't believe me look at the freebie franchise map available at any location. The little numbered circles are covering every square inch of Virginia, Kentucky and Tennessee. It appears that they've built them where the Stuckey's once stood. (Mmmmm... pecan log).

So no Fixin's Bar for me, and I feel good about my decision. It's a moral stand.

Footnote: They are starting to build Long John Silver's in Southern New Jersey (Mantua, Berlin, Willingboro, more on the way). Now if we could just get some Golden Corrals around here.

The sign for exit 32 off of Interstate 295 list such municipalities as Haddonfield (as in the Halloween movies) and Voorhees (as in Jason). It would be even cooler if there was a Krugerville too.